i am running this

It was June 2nd.  The morning of my first 10k.  I’d been training for it since April, and I was excited.  I’d run 7 miles before, but not without stopping for a couple breaks.  Part of me still felt like I’d just run three miles, twice, with an extra mile tacked on as an afterthought.
We live in Massachusetts, and early June here usually means cool mornings and highs in the mid-seventies, so that’s what I was used to running in.  Instead, our race day dawned hot, sunny, and humid.  High in the mid nineties, so humid that you were uncomfortable standing still in the shade.
Awesome.
The heat, humidity, and my inexperience with pacing meant that if I was going to run this race, I knew I had to run slower than I’d been running on my training runs.  I slowed it down.  I jogged.  I listened to my race playlist until it ran out because I was so far behind schedule.
As I ran, I watched two other women sprint, then walk, sprint, then walk, passing me over and over again.  The temptation to walk every time they slowed down was extreme.  The temptation to sprint myself to get past them was even greater.  Instead, I held my pace steady.

I am running this.  I am not going to walk, and sprint, and walk, I AM RUNNING THIS.  I do not care how long it takes me.  I am running THIS.  i am running this.

Over and over, they slowed to a walk and I jogged by them.  Over and over again, they would run past me moments later, as I reminded myself, iamrunningthis.

Towards the end, I stopped noticing them.  I was running this, and that was all that mattered.
With silent determination and the unstop-ability of a bulldozer, I jogged straight through to the finish.  Sometimes, it takes courage to slow down.  But I knew.  I was running this.  They finished just ahead of me.  I won.

June 2nd, 2013

Other posts you may enjoy:

Eliminating Walking Breaks From Your Runs

Yeah… I’m a sidewalk runner

Why You Should Run on Vacation

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6 comments

  1. I just found your blog a few days ago and I’m REALLY enjoying it! I’m in week 7 of the C25K program and I’m loving it. I relate so much to you and a runner and I love your positive attitude and sense of humor! You inspire me to get out there and keep running! Thank you 🙂

    1. Thanks Molly! I’m so glad to hear that, I love writing about running but mostly because it helps me feel connected to other runners so your comment is really appreciated! Congrats on nearing the end of C25K!

  2. That was a fantastic race recap. I love the ending.

    1. Thanks! Somehow I don’t think I’ll ever forget that first 10k 🙂

  3. I absolutely LOVE this post! When I ran my first half marathon, I was surprised by the number of people running/walking. I am in no way saying that the run/walk method is wrong or makes you any less of a runner, but in my mind, all I wanted to do was run the whole race. I had to keep telling myself to not give up and how accomplished and good I would feel once I crossed the finish line. Again, great post!

    1. Thanks Amanda! I agree, it feels better to run even if you’re slower! I have no problem with walking breaks on my training runs, but I’m hoping to run the whole race in September without walking (except when I water station / Gu, but that’s different!)

      I think there’s a big difference, also, between taking calculated walking breaks Galloway style and in sprinting then walking repeatedly in a disorganized fashion. That’s mismanagement of energy, not a calculated break! I’m willing to bet that both those runners felt disappointed at the end, because they were running in two minute increments. That’s a bummer!

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